Monday, October 24, 2011

Healing...

It's been too long. I miss you. 

Multiply those two sentences by ten thousand, and you might begin to understand how I'm feeling.

For those of you who follow me on twitter or facebook, you already know I broke myself a few weeks ago. Ouch. I am finally tiptoeing around my house and garden again, and hoping to dance in my kitchen within the week! I concoct much more mouth-watering meals when I'm dancing with my ingredients. Are you the same kind of a cook?

One thing I've noticed while healing is that being broken...it's such a gift. It's like a chance to build yourself better this time.



I'm trying new things. New ways of doing everything. I have to. My old ways weren't working with my injuries! I'm more careful. More intentional. Thoughtful of every step I make, which makes every step a lot more...thoughtful. I move a little slower - not for long! - and think a little faster. It's  painful and wonderful all at once.

Please save a space in your day for my words. I'll be back soon. Better than ever. In a lot of ways!

Tell me how you're doing, will you? I want to hear all about it!

Thursday, September 29, 2011

A Very Important Date...

On October first of 2010, I began this blog. And if you asked me back then why I started Souled, I would've had a hard time coming up with anything

I guess I wanted a space where I could try to write what was in my heart. One where I could paste gorgeous pictures that made me gasp. Just a place to put all my paragraphs and share them with my friends.

But if you asked me now? I'd tell you everything.




Because I learned that my soul can speak, and it has a lot to tell the world. I learned that there's more than snapshots and paragraphs that make me gasp.

It's my friends. Ages old and rather new and just-made-yesterday and hoping-to-meet-someday-soon. Most days, I write to make their tomorrows a little brighter. Just as they all do for me.

See? I told you. Everything.

Things may be quiet around here next week. Anniversaries are a good time to add a little spice into things, so I'm planning a hot redesign and a few extras to show you how much this all means to me. I'll keep you posted and visit you daily until then! XXX.

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Wouldn't This Room...

Wouldn't this room be incredibly perfect for my friend, Brandi? She's currently searching for a new space in Washington DC where she can hang her clothes and rest her sweet head in between her new career and new life and lots of new lovely moments surely heading her way.



Her gorgeous colors - lush auburn locks and piercing blue eyes - would look even sweeter while lounging on this couch with all the extra seats filled with friends, old and new. Cocktails at the ready in the table...in the table!

Collected art, lots of books all around, and ceilings tall enough to hold her lofty dreams.

Best of everything, sweet Brandi, during this next chapter of your life. I have a feeling it's going to be exciting, so don't forget to take us all along with you!

Monday, September 26, 2011

Who's That Girl...

When she wanted something and knew it would be hard to get, she stomped her foot. It was mostly involuntary and beyond her control, and had been her way since she’d been two. Everyone thought it was cute back then, but they were more than a little afraid of her now. 

Shop girls shuddered when she walked in the door. Baristas and bartenders, too. It wasn’t that she was a brat; she simply despised incompetence, low-confidence, long lines, and poorly made drinks. And it wasn’t entirely her fault; her father had always told her – morning, noon, and night – that she was the best, and that she should expect the best. 

So she’d grown up dead-sure that the best was always waiting around every corner. And it was. She had the best job, the best friends, the best loft, the best ideas, and the best shoes with which to stomp. She had the best boyfriends, too. And when they were no longer the best, they were also no longer her boyfriends. It was a wonderful life.

You know how this story goes, don’t you? She meets a man. The best man. A man to replace the man she’d had before him, and one who would probably be the best until he wasn’t any longer. A man who was utterly wonderful and perfect in every way except one: he doesn’t want her.



This had never happened to her before. Never. He ignored all her hints, didn’t answer her calls, and appeared confused when her friends asked him what he thought of her.

“I don’t.” he answered simply and with a shrug.

And so the story goes for weeks and weeks and months and months until she couldn’t take it anymore. Against her better judgment, she dressed in her killer best and showed up at his house. Took a long, deep breath and rang his bell. 

After her second attempt, she heard a window slide open two floors up. She stepped back into the street and stared at him, at his beautiful face and gorgeous black-as-night eyes and lashes she could count from two stories down. He smiled lazily, and called to her, “Hey, Karen...”

“Carinna,” she corrected, her heart sinking for the first time in her life. It made her feel like she was drowning and she didn’t like it. Not one bit.

She asked if he’d like to go for coffee. He said he didn’t think he would. She asked if he wanted to have dinner sometime. He didn’t. A movie? Nope.

“Listen,” she said. “I've never done this before...I've never had to, actually. But I think we’d be great together. And I can’t understand why you won’t give me a chance.”

He just stared at her and kept his smile in place. “Tell me what you want from me,” he said.

“Well…” she didn’t know what to say. “Just…a date. Just…hanging out.”

I mean, what else could she tell him? That she thought of no one and nothing else but him? How it crushed her that he didn’t remember her name? How it killed her that he didn’t love her already? That she thought- no, hoped and dreamed - that he was the one?

“Ahhh,” his smile finally disappearing. “And here I thought you’d finally grown up. These things you want from me…dinner, a date…hanging out? You can get that from anyone. I wanted more from you. And I’ve been waiting for you to realize that you do, too.”

And with that, he disappeared back inside and closed the window.

He’s coming downstairs, she thought to herself, smiling. Well. That had worked out perfectly. For the best. As usual. She’d gotten what she’d wanted one more time.

Five minutes later, he still wasn’t downstairs. When seven minutes passed, she finally understood that things hadn’t worked out perfectly and for the best. And so, exactly nine minutes later, she did the only thing she knew to do.

Stomped her expensive shoe on that street, marched right up to his door again, and buzzed until he let her in.

The rest of the story is history. But I will tell you this much; they now have twin girls who inherited his black-as-night eyes and lush lashes, as well as her penchant for foot-stomping when they want what they want.

And, as their father tells them morning, noon, and night, they deserve the world.

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Wouldn't This Room...

It's the realtor in me, I know. I can't help but browse the internet - and Pinterest, in particular...are you as enamored with pinning as I am? I hope you're nodding your head. - and see an image that reminds me of one of you.

Today, I'm reminded of her.




Her bio tells us that she's a mama and a photographer, but I think she's simply wonderful. Authentic, too. Out-of-this-world talented but happily sharing herself with this world. Without really knowing her at all, I know one thing for sure: she makes this place better.

A moving little home sounds pretty magical to me. I think she needs a caravan

It's not that she needs to see more of the world. It's that the world needs to see more of her.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Who's That Girl...

He saw her first from across a crowded room. He'd tell that story at least a dozen times in the next three days, and always end with the obvious; that he couldn't miss her because she was hard-to-miss in a room full of five-year olds.

Her official job title was Instructor, made more specific depending on the hour and the dance and the age of her students. Mostly, her little ladies and two little men called her Miss Butterfly, because even when she was standing perfectly still, she looked like she was fluttering. It was the strangest thing.

He was picking up his daughter after a frantic call from his ex. He didn't mind one bit; any time he could spend with his little butterfly was welcome. And as soon as he tore his gaze away from the instructor - a nearly impossible feat - he found his girl and smiled for the first time all day.




She saw him first from across a crowded room. She'd tell that story at least a dozen times in the next three days, and always end with the wonderful; that the second she saw his smile, she wanted one all her own.

Long, complicated, and hot story shorter, they met for an early dinner four days later. It was the longest four days of their lives. And when he gave her a hug in the restaurant lobby, he didn't want to let her go. She wouldn't have minded if he didn't.

Their first kiss was a double firework. He didn't want his lips to be away from hers ever again, but there they were in the valet line with three surfer boys in ties staring at their goodbyes. When he pulled away, she gasped, covered her lips with her fingers, and fluttered with wanting him. And he couldn't help but smile - all for her and all her own - and murmur "Well, damn. I certainly can't leave you like this, Butterfly."

And, much to the delight of the three surfer boys in ties, he didn't.

This girl deserved a story. Hope you loved this one. And Happy Monday, you beautiful things!

Thursday, September 15, 2011

Falling In Love...

A few things that won't leave my heart this week...

I read her blog religiously. Here are pieces of her story via Twitter...

Lucy: "I just need to feel brave for a few minutes, and then I can do it."

And then Not even 8am and I'm already having the worst mommy day of my life. I hate it when I blow it big.

And then I'm told that pierced ears closing overnight falls in the category of honest mistake. But oh, if you could have seen the mourning...

My heart's just breaking for them both. Isn't yours?

This made me stop for a while. And then think of what kindness I could share myself for a lot longer than that.



Two things about this giving project. One, it's goose-bump wonderful. And two, I never knew the lovely legend behind swallows; that their purpose was to carry a sailor's soul to heaven.

And on a much lighter note...I WANT THIS

There. All of this week's favorites that have been sending me. Will you tell me what's been sticking to your heart this week? I'd love to know! Rooftop pool found among his charming pins first.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

The Human Revolution...

My friend, Human, is nearing the end of his Kickstarter campaign. Nine days left to raise a lot of money for good. I'm hoping you can help him.

He's such a kind and caring person. He believes in a lot of beautiful things, like peace and community and making the world a better place. He believes in growing organic, saving seeds, and sunny days. And he needs your help with sending his music and message mainstream.

One soldier in Afghanistan just pledged $1200. She said that Human's music helped her through the hardest moments in her life. I can't imagine. And I'd hate for her pledge to go to waste. If everyone just donated a dollar or two, his campaign could succeed. It's such a lesson in what great things the collective good can achieve, isn't it?

If you're a blogger or if you Facebook or Tweet, I'd love if you spread Human's goodness to those you know. Will you? I hope you're saying a very loud YES right now.

I'll owe you one.

In the meantime, here's a little song to make you smile.

Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Wouldn't This Room...

Oh! Wouldn't this room be perfect for Trina?




I live for her I Want, I Love, I Have posts; she always drags me away from my everyday to somewhere positively fulfilling. She and her four divinely-named la-las - Ella, Luke, Liam Brave, and Rocco - need a craft room like this one. 

I bet she's the kind of mom who dances with her babies. Doesn't worry about glue globs or paint drips or clay ground into the carpet. Lets them have big ideas and miles of scotch tape and poster board and safety scissors galore.

And while I'm pretty sure they could definitely make some killer crafts in this room, I'm more sure that they definitely make magic together no matter where they happen to be.

I love matching people to rooms. Must be the realtor in me! Find this craft room loveliness on Pinterest, of course!

Monday, September 12, 2011

Who's That Girl...

She was supposed to be getting ready for her blind date. She'd scheduled a manicure, sunshine streaks added to her mane, and a much-needed wax. But given her past record of saying all the wrong things to all the right boys on all of her first and last first dates, no one but she and Mina would be ogling that wax.

Her sister called with a favor, though, as she usually did on Saturdays. It was normally not a problem, since her Saturdays were always free. That was the problem.

But she said yes, as she always did on Saturdays. Which is how it came to be that she spent the five hours before her date in the company of her nieces.

And which is why, when her date arrived on her doorstep holding a bouquet of chubby daisies and carnival-sized lollipops, she wasn't exactly ready. He didn't seem to notice.




He completely missed her nails, fluorescent and colored outside the lines. But that was one of the promises she'd made her lovelies promise that day and she'd had no time to erase that lesson; always, always break the rules and don't worry about making a mess. Life is messy. And when it's really good, life is incredibly messy. And blindingly bright.

He didn't see the pink streaks in her mane. He saw a glow that reminded him of everything beautiful he'd ever seen in his life. The night sky in Venice, the sands in Saudi, and the way everyone looked up at the Eiffel Tower. Damned if he didn't add her as his Eighth Wonder right then and there.

He couldn't tell from where the jingling was coming because his eyes never made it to her wrist, stacked with every bauble that caught her lovelies' eyes. She said yes to them all because she was a big believer in more is more, plus also she wanted her nieces to understand how valued were their ideas. No matter how more they were.

He didn't know it yet, but from that moment on every time that boy heard jewelry sing its song, he found himself smiling. He found himself wishing for more. And he didn't know it yet, but he'd be smiling about this moment for the rest of his life.

She learned two things about herself that night with that boy. First, she'd been wrong about herself and her past disastrous blind date history. She hadn't been saying all the wrong things to all the right boys. She'd been saying all the right things to all the wrong boys.

He was right. And she was, too.

Also? She and her esthetician were not the only ones who ogled her wax that night.

A lovely collection of arm candy found via Audrey Kitching.

Friday, September 9, 2011

You Asked...

I'm so lucky to be gifted with your emails and personal letters and all-around grace, especially during this difficult time for me. Grateful doesn't seem to cover it.

I just opened a note from someone I don't really know...yet...and in it, she asked how I can possibly stay so positive.

Easy.

At some point during the early days of this journey, I found myself alone in a specialist's waiting room. I wasn't really alone, though; my favorite people in the world were on their way and I could feel them nearing me. Have you ever felt that kind of love? It's nice, isn't it?

And I also wasn't alone because there was one other girl in that waiting room waiting for the same specialist. She looked lonely. More than that, she looked frightened. My heart broke a million times for her.

We chatted nervously and politely at first, then found ourselves laughing together about nothing and about everything: our circumstances that brought us to this office, our health, and our hopes. And in the course of our conversation, I learned a few things about her. Mainly that she was alone in this; she hadn't told anyone she was sick and had decided to go it alone.



To me, that meant more than she wouldn't have anyone to hold her hand through that appointment or through her treatment. It meant she wouldn't have anyone to make her toast when toast was the only thing that tasted good. There would be no one to play Carly Simon and just sit next to her and just be. There would be no one to wrap her up in a blanket just warmed by the dryer and whisk her away for an ice cream sundae and a breathtaking night sky. Just because she'd need that. Deep in her soul, she'd need that. And someone who loved her would know this.

There would be no one to call her every thirty minutes with a joke or a sweet whisper or or a plain old "How are you, baby?" No one to wipe away her tears or that awful comment she made when she wasn't thinking before she made it. No one to understand what she might be enduring this minute and tomorrow and the day after and years from now. No one to avoid talking about the future. Unless she wanted to talk about the future. No one to whisper away nightmares at midnight and laugh away the worry that comes with the first rays of sun. No one to just hold her hand.

How do I stay so positive? Easy. I have all of that. And more. 

I took that poor doll's number and I've decided I'm going to call her and check on her whether she likes it or not. I'm hoping she'll like it. Have a beautiful weekend, friends, and make sure you share your soul with others. Otherwise, it's such a lonely life, don't you think? Find this girl on Pinterest.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Wouldn't This Room...

Do you ever see a space and gasp? Think to yourself "Oh! Wouldn't this room be perfect for..." and then fill in the dots with one of your favorite online friends?

I do, too. So...

Oh! Wouldn't this room be perfect for Melissa?


The Crumb could roller skate through snacks, while Melissa and her artist husband toast and taste until the candles fade. I bet there would be music, too. Long into the night.

I love matching games. I think I'll play this one regularly! More of this gorgeous kitchen on The Selby.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Falling In Love...

I'd love to share a few lovely corners of the internet that have been keeping my mind away from everything that's been on my mind lately. I'm not a big believer in distraction - I love nothing more than to be fully and happily engaged - but sometimes reality just needs an interruption. Here are a few...

Tomboys. And everyone else with an inherent sense of confidence, rebelliousness and adventure. Those are some pretty hot qualities, aren't they?




We could all use a heartwash. May it be the one truth you never forget. Yes, please.

How many of us work to live? Probably too many. I think I'd rather live to live. And love it every step of the journey. Which is why I could read this over and over again. I love happy stories. (See also confidence, rebelliousness and adventure above!)

When salads and fresh veggies and healthy soups just aren't doing the trick, the grilled cheese from Food + Lab will. Gruyere, Tellegio and Raclette on Five-Grain with Carmelized Onion and Grainy Mustard. I like to think it has healing powers.



There's nothing like a kiss from your mom. I know that has healing powers.

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Who's That Girl...



Her name might be Georgia. Maybe even Frankie. She was named for her father, the scoundrel who ran out on them when she and her sisters were still young enough to miss him. Now, she only misses his Manicotti. He always doubled the Asiago and Cayenne because, in his Italian-accented words, "Good food is meant to be tasted long after it's over." Damn, but she felt the same way about life.

She had sex last night, but made sweet love this morning. She skipped breakfast without fail, and liked to do the same with unnecessary staff meetings. She played mind games with her barista, trying to confuse him with her mad concoctions and flurry of skinny and split shot and triples and wet and with legs. Someday, she'd walk in and order what she really wanted. Coffee. Black. Two sugars. But she was too young, still, for life to be that simple. She was planning on embracing the complicated for a few more years.

She carried only credit cards, cigarettes, rose-tinted lip balm, and a vintage DVF wrap dress folded into a tiny square in her huge bag. It had been a gift from her favorite companion - the one with whom she'd shared the past twelve delightful hours and past three delightful years - and she carried it despite her apathy toward "It" bags. Instead, she carried it because he was it...they were it...and she couldn't wait to fill it with everything important. Like a marriage license or tickets to Vegas or brand new credit cards with a different last name that the scoundrel's. And diapers. Someday, she would need to carry diapers.

What else can I tell you about her? She was fair and polite. She loved anyone who shared kindness. Wrote all others off in permanent marker. She'd saved her first stuffed animal and nearly every cork from every meaningful celebration. She dreamed of collecting old maps and globes, but she'd never really been anywhere besides LA; such a collection might poke fun at her instead of fulfilling her, don't you agree? She'd stick to corks until she figured out how to fly away.

She was sure of everything, and of nothing at all. She knew this, deep down. Except maybe...maybe she was sure of one thing. Maybe even two.

She would name her babies after scoundrels. That, and she'd make her love Manicotti tonight. Doubled Asiago and Cayenne.

Wednesday, August 31, 2011

Unravelling...

"While we cannot direct the wind, We can adjust the sails."



Thanks for all the prayers and love you have shown.

 It's been quite a summer. That's an understatement.

Most of you know I have been feeling not good for quite some time, looking back we now know this has been a three year ordeal.

Yesterday I was diagnosed with extreme hypothyroid and a few other issues that were still waiting results for.

I'm usually not so personal in this space but that will change a bit, as I hope I can help someone who might be experiencing the same things I have gone through. It has been the roughest road for me.  It's been quite a journey and I feel so blessed to finally have found the most amazing, caring, brilliant, compassionate, doctor. We look forward to getting back the rest of my results and moving forward.

I woke this morning heartbroken, but after talking with my mom I feel postive and excited to embark on this journey. I'm amazed at what happens when we truly listen to our bodies. Although my body is broken at the moment, I know with alot of love and healing and positive energy I will be mended.

I look forward to that day.

Sprinkling some love on all of you and wishing you the most wonderful day.

Picture found here.