If You Were My Boyfriend...

It's about time for another round of my favorite game, don't you think? I hope you're nodding your head in emphatic agreement.

If you were my boyfriend, my heart would skip a beat every time you uttered the words "Hey, you. Want to go for a ride?" My answer would always be yes.

Because if you were my boyfriend, that simple invitation could mean anything. It could mean you'll pick me up on your motorcycle, slide a helmet on my head and gently tuck in the stray locks, and whisk me away for root beer floats and underdogs on an elementary school swingset.

"Where are we?" I'd ask dreamily, thinking time had flown for only five minutes. And then you'd name a city fifty miles from home. You would send me, you know...if you were my boyfriend.

If you were my boyfriend, I'd learn to always be ready. Pack light. Expect nothing and anticipate everything. 

That would be fine with me, I think. Because life boils down to that one question.

"Hey, you. Want to go for a ride?" Sure. Let me get a jacket.

Girl on a swing here. Boy on a bike here. Did you do anything whimsical this weekend? End up somewhere fun in the blink of an eye? I'd love to hear your tales!

If You Were My Boyfriend...

My someday husband will never roll his eyes when my Saturday ideas include words like tent or even naked backyard camping. Instead, he'll pack provisions like wine and cheese and chocolate bars just in case.

I'll ask "Just in case?" with wide eyes, and he'll reply "Just in case a bear comes around." And I'll wonder until he makes me forget whether bears like wine, cheese, or chocolate bars. 

My someday husband will know how to make believe...and make me believe. I can't wait for him.

Campsite found here.

If You Were My Boyfriend...

My boyfriend will have good hands.

Those hands will be able to open doors when I forget my keys, accompanied always by a wicked whisper about violating his parole. They'll be able to chop onions even when his eyes blur with tears, the perfect moment to act out the final scene in Braveheart on the kitchen island. Freedom!

His hands will be made for guitar strings and puppy baths and French massages, which are much more romantic than Swedish, he'll inform me. They will be. Merci.

My boyfriend's hands will be strong when he's shaking others, gentle when he's holding babies, and light as a feather when one rests on the small of my back. They'll pull me up and hold me down and lead me everywhere. They'll drive me across town and drive me mad. When he covers my eyes before a surprise, they won't smudge my shadow.

And if he gets home first from a long day of work, there will be no sight more wonderful than seeing him barefoot and shirtless and holding a freshly mixed Martini made just for me.

Good hands. Yes. Add that to my list. 

Do you have a playmate of your own? Are you keeping a list like mine? Tell me some of your wishes, please? I'd love to hear them! Photos from here and here.

If You Were My Boyfriend...

Exceptional women deserve delicious men. This is what mine - and hopefully yours!- looks like when I close my eyes and dream...

If you were my boyfriend, you'd baby me when I'm sick in bed. You'd let yourself in, turn on all my twinkly lights, and bring me a tray. There would be hot tea with the perfect amount of honey and maybe even a shot of whiskey to soothe my throat, and the best take-away chicken noodle soup in town. I'd giggle at how you poured the soup into one of my little vintage china bowls, erased all signs of plastic utensils, lit a few candles, and insisted on feeding me.

I'd love learning that I love to be fed.

If you were my boyfriend, you wouldn't be scared of a fever. You'd press your cool hand to my forehead, tell me I felt a little hot, and then give me your naughty grin.

"You look even hotter," you'd say. And I'd believe you. Because if you were my boyfriend, I could tell when you were telling the truth. Because if you were my boyfriend, you'd always tell me the truth.

I wouldn't know if it was the soup, the twinkly lights, the charming conversation, or the whiskey, but you'd make me feel better almost instantly.

"How about a nice soak?" you'd ask, not even waiting for my answer. Because if you were my boyfriend, you'd know I never say no to a soak.

When you were sure I was safely submerged in suds, you'd tell me you'd be back in about thirty minutes. I would barely be able to conceal my disappointment.

"You're leaving me?" I'd ask incredulously. "You're leaving me in the tub?"

You'd just wink, slide out the door, and whistle for my big bad wolf Max.

Of course you would think of my poor puppy, housebound all day with my fever. Because if you were my boyfriend, you'd love everything I love and take care of all things mine with the utmost care.

Especially my heart.

I'm so glad you all encouraged me to make this a weekly feature; I'm madly in love with love, and this starts my week off with lots of it. If you'd like, send me some of your love's sweet everythings he or she does for you. I'd love to hear your love stories! Photos from here, here, and here.

If You Were My Boyfriend...

I think I'm an awesome playmate. You probably are, too. We deserve stellar partners. Here's what it would take to be mine...

If you were my boyfriend, I'd gasp every time you smiled at me. You're beautiful, I bet.

We'd spend Saturday mornings at Trader Joe's. You'd head straight for the wine section to grab a few bottles of Vinjt Pinot Noir while I'd get lost in the cheeses. I'd love it that you love an $8 bottle of wine even though you can clearly afford a more expensive vintage. 

Men who need to make grand gestures in public are usually quite small in private, and I would be thrilled about your small public gestures and grand privates. If you were my boyfriend, you would laugh at the joke I just wrote.

We'd meet back up in the desserts, and you'd stop in the middle of the aisle with the happiest grin on your beautiful face.

"Don't I know you?" you'd ask hopefully, "I'm sure we've met before..."

And you'd go on and on with introductions and suggestions of maybe getting together sometime for dinner or drinks, all the while ignoring all the gapers around us who clearly wished they could meet someone like you on a Saturday morning in Trader Joe's.

If you were my boyfriend, you'd smile about giving others hope like that. You'd smile harder at my embarrassment, though. If you were my boyfriend.

On our way home, we'd probably see a stray dog. You'd insist we take it to the shelter, and I'd be happily surprised you knew the way already. If you were my boyfriend, you'd call that shelter for two days straight to make sure that puppy's family found him.

If you were my boyfriend, you'd work as hard  as I do. But when we'd go to important business dinners together, you'd be able to hold a deliciously smart conversation while running your foot up my leg under the table. I do enjoy a multi-tasker.

There would be more. Always more. Plus a guitar. Because if you were my boyfriend, you'd know to play me to sleep and strum me awake.

All photo hotness from here. Also, I'm thinking of making If You Were My Boyfriend a weekly feature. Is it something you'd enjoy? Do tell, please!