I think I'm an awesome playmate. You probably are, too. We deserve stellar partners. Here's what it would take to be mine...
We'd spend Saturday mornings at Trader Joe's. You'd head straight for the wine section to grab a few bottles of Vinjt Pinot Noir while I'd get lost in the cheeses. I'd love it that you love an $8 bottle of wine even though you can clearly afford a more expensive vintage.
Men who need to make grand gestures in public are usually quite small in private, and I would be thrilled about your small public gestures and grand privates. If you were my boyfriend, you would laugh at the joke I just wrote.
We'd meet back up in the desserts, and you'd stop in the middle of the aisle with the happiest grin on your beautiful face.
"Don't I know you?" you'd ask hopefully, "I'm sure we've met before..."
And you'd go on and on with introductions and suggestions of maybe getting together sometime for dinner or drinks, all the while ignoring all the gapers around us who clearly wished they could meet someone like you on a Saturday morning in Trader Joe's.
If you were my boyfriend, you'd smile about giving others hope like that. You'd smile harder at my embarrassment, though. If you were my boyfriend.
On our way home, we'd probably see a stray dog. You'd insist we take it to the shelter, and I'd be happily surprised you knew the way already. If you were my boyfriend, you'd call that shelter for two days straight to make sure that puppy's family found him.
If you were my boyfriend, you'd work as hard as I do. But when we'd go to important business dinners together, you'd be able to hold a deliciously smart conversation while running your foot up my leg under the table. I do enjoy a multi-tasker.
There would be more. Always more. Plus a guitar. Because if you were my boyfriend, you'd know to play me to sleep and strum me awake.
All photo hotness from here. Also, I'm thinking of making If You Were My Boyfriend a weekly feature. Is it something you'd enjoy? Do tell, please!